Sanctuary: Another Point of View






Sanctuary—what does it mean to you?

A sanctuary is any place of safety and can have many interpretations. It is any place where you can feel safe to think, say, or do whatever you want to without fear of reprisal.

Where is your sanctuary?  Do you have such a place? If you are really, really lucky, do you have SOMEONE who is your sanctuary?

Many people say that they find their sanctuary in church, or being out in nature. I immediately get a picture in my mind of Quasimodo up in that bell tower in “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” shouting “Sanctuary! Sanctuary!”

It is a very important concept to embrace, for we each need that refuge where we can feel safe and just be ourselves. But wait! Don’t we live in the good old U. S. of A. where we can think and say anything we want?

Consider another place. A place from which we can’t escape.

The strongest prison—the prison that has the highest walls—is the one in which we place ourselves. This is the jail where we are the judge, jury, jailer and executioner and oddly enough, we are the only ones with the key to set us free. The only one that can grant us sanctuary from our Selves.

The older I get, the more I realize that true freedom, the most precious and rewarding kind, is that sanctuary that is found in another human being. Someone that you can say anything to, share anything with, and get back only acceptance, love and understanding.

I’ve come to realize that not only do you have to unlock that door to let yourself out of your self-imposed prison, but you have to be brave enough to let someone in. And there lies the truth in counter-intuitive thought; that “vulnerability is a strength and not a weakness” and “freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.”

Have you discovered the sanctuary that can exist in your relationship with your significant other? How can you tap into the happiness that resides in your mind, your heart, and your gut?

You already know how to do it; after all, you are the only one with the key. You are the only one who can build your own Sanctuary.



The Letter, A Poem


The Letter

I was looking through some old family photos the other day and I happened upon an envelope with an old letter inside. It is brown around the edges, deeply creased with holes in places.

The Letter


In short it is fragile, but still in relatively good shape. It was a letter from my father to my mother. My mother and I were some three thousand miles away visiting my grandparents and the rest of my mother’s family in Pennsylvania. The year was 1953.

The emotion and connection in this letter is palpable. He misses my mother and me very much and he repeats this many times. He was so worried about our flight that he had to go out and water the lawn to think of something else. He asks about me crying when we left him and asks repeatedly if I’m okay now. In the end, he says he will not be separated from us again.

Reading this letter I realized that it could have been me writing it. The irony is that it took me till I was almost sixty and a serious brush with my mortality to find my voice to do it. Furthermore, as a relationship coach, it is an example of what I preach to others to do.

The reach of fate, the synchronicity, and the belief that we are all one small part of the whole that is mankind and all that is the universe is not lost on me. Indeed it was staring back at me in that sheet of worn paper written by the hand of my father.

The Letter



The Gift of Clarity

The Gift of Clarity2