“Never be afraid to be the one who loved the most”
Does that sentence make you feel just a little bit uncomfortable? Can you tell me why it does? The answer probably sounds something like “I’m afraid of being taken advantage of” or “I’m afraid of coming on too strong” or “I need to be in control and if I show my real self (be vulnerable), I’ll lose control.”
The operative word here is “fear.” And the question is, “Why?”
What will happen if you are the one who shows your hand first or more often? What will happen if you are the one who says “I love you” first?
If that person is the right one, it will only serve to strengthen the relationship and fan the flames of passion. It will also give that other person permission to show their feelings for you and increase the intimacy between you. Being vulnerable with each other is the very definition of intimacy.
Each one of the objections in the first paragraph is really just another brick in the wall that will serve to separate you from finding and maintaining real love. If you are afraid to show your real feelings, you need to ask yourself some serious questions. This is a big red flag being waved right in front of you.
If you are in the early stages of a relationship, by all means, go slow and get to know one another first. When you are convinced that there is a future in the relationship, be open and honest about how you feel.
If you already in a committed relationship, every hesitation in being open and honest needs to be examined. Some will be important, some not. Some will be a great revelation into your soul, some just silly.
Okay, so you have bared your soul and the response you got was not what you expected. What now? In the end, every rejection you receive is not your fault or your problem. They are opportunities for change and they speak reams about the one doing the rejecting. That person is either not the right person for you or it’s not the right time. Don’t take it personally.
Showing vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Those that will not or cannot be vulnerable are only showing you their weaknesses. The truth is, you will find that these responses are either a blessing in disguise and another heartbreak avoided or another opportunity to get even closer.
Take it from one who has learned this lesson. In a relationship, never be afraid to be honest with the one you love, and never be afraid to be the one who loved the most.
Joseph P Battaglia is a Relationship Coach who works with his wife Laurie, a Career and Life Coach, to coach couples on how to put the spark back into their long-term committed relationship! Together, Joseph and Laurie own Living the Dream Coaches, LLC in Scottsdale, Arizona. Joe brings his photography, poetry writing, and blogging together to give people insight into the heart and mind of an artist. His 35+ years in the medical field provides him awareness of people at their best, worst, and most vulnerable. Call Joe at (888) 505-5762 or email him at email@example.com.